I was told on several occasions that I was gluten intolerant. This was evident from skin breakouts. phantom coughs and tummy upsets. However, symptoms have worsened significantly in the last 6 months which helped me reach my decision to change my diet. It is poisonous to me! So all was going swimmingly on my new diet until Sunday evening.
My buddy rang to ask if I would like to come to his place for dinner and then informed me that I would have to bring the food. (His house is better than mine and my cooking is better than his so it was a pretty good bargain). I prepared Nigella’s. Curry in a Hurry which was completely awesome and received compliments all round. I also brought lentil chips and hummus in case I got picky later on in the evening after a couple of glasses of prosecco. Unfortunately, I reverted to form and continued munching when the curry, dairy free chocolate, lentil chips and hummus were already on their way through my gut and turned my attention to a share bag of peanuts which I ate independently. My friend is the brother of a coeliac and mentioned that I was brave eating those peanuts. I didn’t understand what he was on about. Nuts are just nuts, right? WRONG! They were smothered in wheat flour!!!
What followed was the worst bout of the runs I have ever experienced in my life! It started on my return home with a few loose movements which was odd at that late hour. (I tend to poo more in the morning…is everyone like that?) I woke up the next morning to do a grocery shop but within about 3 minutes of getting my trolley, I began to sweat from my hairline to my toes and the shopping aisles were swinging. I had to sprint with my trolley (knuckles clammy and white as I clenched the handle like a vice)/ It was like the scene from American Pie with Finchy in the loo. My poor daughter was forced to wait outside the cubicle for 25 minutes while I pooped my insides out. I honestly thought that nuts and bolts were going to start coming out. It was horrendous! If anyone coming in and out of the ladies was in any doubt of my plight, my kids were very loud and informative during their discussions through the door. “What’s going on in there?”…”She’s used A LOT OF TISSUE ROLL….what did she eat?”
So I have seriously learned my lesson. After peanut-gate in the supermarket loo, I emerged from the cubicle like a pheonix rising from the ashes..I mopped the sweat from my brow and I made my way to the allergen free section and prepared for my completely gluten free future. I won’t even bite my nails now, for fear of a repeat performance. I used my noggin and stock piled gluten free soy sauce, thai pastes and fish sauces, stocks, flours and grains – staples for cooking. I made a menu for the week and I promised myself that I would meal plan from here on out, prepare for every eventuality and make proper meals for myself so I am not as inclined to get lax about reading labels and protecting my guts. I’ll post all of meals and menus here when I can.
I also planned on starting my exercise regime. As my tummy is still feeling raw after the nut episode, I’m going to start with a bit of yoga to ease myself back into it.