My Stripper History
You show me yours, I”ll show you my massive unsightly ones! Let’s get ’em out for the Irish Cancer Society!
If you have been following my blog, you will know that I am the mortified owner of a set of GGs. One rainy evening in June, my friend called me and asked if I would accompany him to a bodypainting jam in Cork City and participate in the World Naked Bike Ride.
At that exact moment, I was stood in the canned foods aisle in Tesco while my kids were quite literally on the shop floor, wrestling each other for a €1 coin that had hopped out of my bag when I was digging for my phone.
Life seemed a little grey and hopeless so I threw caution to the wind and agreed to get naked and painted by a relatively new acquaintance and take part in a nude bike ride. Sure why not? Little did I know that this was going to lead to the birth of my buddy Ken’s brain child which will hopefully raise €50,000 for cancer research.
If you freaked out when you saw the logo, stall your digger a minute and I’ll tell you about my experience, I’m not boob confident. I dream of sitting up in bed and tossing my silky mane over my shoulder while clutching the sheet flat against my perky pair of B-cups like they do in the movies.
Unfortunately in reality, I can’t actually sit up in the bed because I’m weighed down by two sandbags attached to my chest. The sheet is far from flat against me. I’m a human marquee. I could probably host a Holy Communion party under there and I don’t get out of bed so much as I roll off of it.
Getting my girls out in public was a big deal for me. I felt like all eyes were on them at the body painting venue and I was terrified that one of the event staff were going to ask me whether I had applied for planning permission.
As it turned out, nobody was eyeballing my baps. They were too busy having a laugh among themselves, creating works of art and getting into the spirit of the event.
My Nipples Knew Best
I felt nervous my first time but my nipples were literally AND metaphorically one step ahead of me
I know that the idea of bearing your bosom is a bit daunting. Irish breasts barely see the outside of a vest top in the summer months, not to mind liberating them on an autumnal Saturday!
We might be brave enough to shed the bikini top during a post Leaving Cert holiday in Playa Del Ingles but once sun burnt, twice shy…Those girls get back in their bra and hibernate, only bouncing out to play when they are due a shower or they’re feeling frisky after a couple of glasses of Sauvignon.
However, it’s well worth giving them a day out, ladies. Getting my grapefruits out for the naked bike ride has changed my life entirely. I have since lost a stone and a half in preparation for breast reduction surgery, (If I keep them any longer, I’ll have a spine like an S hook).
I started writing this blog which opened up tons of doors for me and I now work full time as a content and copy writer for some pretty cool clients. I have pink hair and a book in the pipeline. The new acquaintance I accompanied to the event is now one of my most cherished friends.
Most importantly, I get to help coordinate the best women’s event on the calendar! If I had said no to Ken when he asked me to take part in the World Naked Bike Ride, I would have missed out on a healthier lifestyle, a new career, a straighter spine, better hair, a priceless friendship and the opportunity to help raise €50.000 for The Irish Cancer Society
The day of the body painting, I saw a beautiful man across the warehouse, standing in all his naked splendour and my nipples told me to ditch my reservations and get stuck in. At the time, I assumed they were just excited to see the nude Greek God getting snazarooed in the corner but since then I’ve realized that my nipples may be my sixth and seventh sense.
They knew that getting my kit off and having my officially overweight (I checked online) body sponged emerald green before pedaling my sweaty self down Pana was going to change my destiny.
So ladies, are you going to trust in your nipples and join the fight against cancer?
Add Bare to Care 2017 to Your Bucket List & Raise a Bucket for Cancer Research
Dare to make a difference for the Irish Cancer Society
Bare to Care 2017 in aid of Todayfm ‘Dare to Care-Irish Cancer Society’, will host two fun filled, laughter laden, unmissable events. The first will take place on the 11th of November at Devere Hall, University College Cork and the second will be hosted the following Saturday 18th of November at Goldsmith Hall by Trinity College Dublin.
We are asking women to register on the Bare to Care website. Once registered, sponsorship forms are available to download and print from the website.
Next we are asking that you approach your friends, family, employers, postman, TD, lovers, team mates, sugar daddy or whoever else you can pester for a few euro to raise money for your dare,
Once you have raised your funds, follow Eventbrite link on the website and donate your funds to generate your ticket to either event. All money paid in is automatically transferred to the Irish Cancer Society account.
You will fulfill your promise to your sponsors on the day of the event, when you allow an artist to create a work of art on your bare breasts. We expect in excess of 200 women of all shapes and sizes at both events so no one is going to feel like a spare.
You will be in a suitably girly, heated and decorated room with a crowd of like-minded ladies who feel as passionate as you feel about celebrating the lives of every warrior woman who has bravely fought against cancer.
There will be music, entertainment. surprises and goody bags in abundance and we guarantee that Bare to Care will be one of the most memorable and laughter filled days of your life.
We want to ensure that the day is comfortable for everyone and we take your privacy very seriously so we will be confining the events to the inside of both venues.
Therefore we are encouraging women to register as early as possible as places will be limited to the hall capacity.
Don’t add this event to the list of things you wish you would have done. Pay tribute to all those incredible women we have admired, supported, loved and in some cases lost through cancer. Just say YES and register now!