This week I took a train to the capital and spoke with Today FM’s delicious duo about naked bike riding, breasts and Bare to Care 2017
The road to Heuston is paved with good intentions…and gin
As soon as I got the call confirming that I would be speaking on the Dermot and Dave show this Monday, I began hatching my foolproof plan.
Today FM listeners were going to be overwhelmed by my intelligence, attention to detail and maturity. Brian Dobson was going to be calling me for pointers
I planned to use the Sunday evening train journey to make notes on the events and vowed to head straight to bed as soon as I was settled in my accommodation. I wanted to be on the ball Monday morning.
Unfortunately, there was a gas man sitting opposite me on the train and the Aisling copybook which was set to host all of the amazing notes and insightful speeches for my radio debut remained unopened on the table between us.
Admittedly, alcohol was consumed prior to reaching the capital, offering me a fresh perspective on the impending interview
In my new, wine infused state of mind, I believed that preparation was totally unnecessary. I suspected that I might be something of a Terry Wogan underneath my manic exterior
Four gin and tonics later, I wondered if I should start charging people for my opinions? By the time I dozed off at 2am, I reckoned I might look into getting my own TV show. My Dad, who had also consumed several units was in full agreement
The Morning After ill
I made my way to TodayFM with a sick head and wobbly legs. I’m ashamed to admit that Google maps had to talk me through the 5 minute walk from Grafton St to Marconi House. I felt like a Healy-Rae.
Ken should have warned me Newstalk was in the same building. When I hobbled out of the lift on the wrong floor, I thought he’d accidentally got me an interview on the wrong channel. It would’ve been like putting Father Dougal on Vincent Browne.
Meeting the lads
Prior to the launch of Bare to Care and back when I was a support worker, I tuned into the show religiously while trekking around the country.
It was so surreal meeting them in person when their voices are so familiar to me. It’s like meeting the lady who tells you how many voicemail messages you have. You hear her every time you dial 171 but never imagine some day you’ll be looking her in the eye. We take these people for granted!
The ‘T’ Word
The interview began well enough and I recounted my naked bike riding adventure which the lads seemed genuinely interested in.
However, as we got to the deeper questions, I felt myself getting very shaky. My mouth was going gallant but it was like I was outside of my body, watching myself.
Why was I talking about periods and childbirth? Arghh. Pull it back Eimear! Say something medical!
“Cervical smears…breast check…” (okay that’s a bit better).
“Cystitis..” (Wait, what? Did I just say cystitis?)
Game over. I just said thrush on the radio. People are hearing me talk about yeast infection while they’re about to sit down to their 11 o clock scone.
My dreams of becoming Brian Dobson’s spirit guide obliterated and no amount of Canesten Duo is going to rectify the situation.
Perving at Dermot on The Panel
I should probably ‘fess up at this point. I had a major crush on Dermot Whelan when he first appeared on The Panel back in the early noughties.
I’m going to give myself some belated advice now. When presented with the opportunity to meet a celebrity crush, don’t mention anything that involves itching or discharge. It’s not exactly what you’d want them to associate you with!
Dermot and Dave were unbelievably welcoming and reassuring. I didn’t think I could admire them anymore than I did prior to meeting them in person but I do
Also, it seemed to get people’s attention and they have been getting in touch with my Facebook page to enquire about the events which was the point of the interview.
A bit of housekeeping..
For those who messaged my page regarding my absence from the TodayFM website, I was only a guest on the show so you need to check out what I’m up to here or on social media.
I keep showing up for work there but the security are always one step ahead of me. First I thought they didn’t employ coeliacs but I believe Dermot is a glutard like me so that can’t be it.
I didn’t meet one loser during my time at the station. Literally, none of my kind were there…Not even in the smoking area. I checked. They were all uber cool.
I imagine Maria is filing for a barring order at this point so chances of getting on the website or the show again are slim! …Unless I star in a movie or release a number 1 single. Hmmm..Might be something to add to the bucket list…Perhaps I can fit it in between my date with Russell Brand and bread making with Paul Hollywood?
The interview is on a podcast which I will upload below.
I will definitely be keeping the boys in touch with our progress and I’m sure they will communicate any updates on the show.
Facebook question regarding Dermot and Dave
Ross O Callaghan who has followed this blog from Day 1 messaged my page after the show. In the conversation, he inquired which one of the duo I would like to be stranded on an island with and I answered that I would have to ponder on it.
Ross, Dermot and Dave are like eggs and bacon. Each are scrumptious in their own right but they make more sense when they’re on the same plate.
Therefore, I’m opting for a Dermot and Dave sandwich…and I would be the ‘hang’.
Keep registering guys http://www.baretocare.info