So here it is folks. I wrote this article for Facebook and it received a lot of publicity but for reasons only known to the person who reported it, it was banned. I don’t like that thousands of women took the time to share the post and their voices as well as mine were silenced. Misogyny is alive and kicking in 21st century Ireland.

WHY IRISH WOMEN NEED TO BE EXTRA CAREFUL: A BLAZER AND CHINOS DOES NOT A GENTLEMAN MAKE: The Nation Breathe a Sigh of Relief as ‘Top Shaggers’ Walk.

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Social media was buzzing with comments of support for the four men whose privacy and dignity was so callously abused during the Belfast rape trial. The country bowed their heads in sympathy as the boys were found not guilty of the plethora of charges against them. “Could ruin their career”….”Should never have gone to court”…”Let this be a lesson to girls”

None of us will ever truly know what happened at Paddy Jackson’s house party that night. All accounts seem to be filtered, ambiguous and subjective ramblings diluted with copious amounts of alcohol and panic.

She may have willingly engaged in group sex because she had quite a bit to drink and then later regretted her actions. All we know for certain is that a 19 year old girl had sexual relations with at least two men. Regardless of whether this encounter was consensual, the only facts we are sure of are:

-Sexual relations took place which were so rigorous that when she left the house she was “hysterical”, had bruises on her skin and a laceration on her vagina which bled for quite a while.

-In the day that followed, the boys who this nation appear to have taken to their hearts bragged about how they had “pumped” and “f**ked” a drunk 19 year old girl whose blood was barely dry on their clothes and sheets. One couldn’t be too surprised by the presence of a laceration and bleeding when you consider how the ‘lads’ described the sex. Those dimpled, sure-God-love-them, chino sporting gents compared the sex they had with the lady in question to impaling and roasting a farm animal.

It makes perfect sense that rugby fanatical Dads everywhere are “delighted” with the verdict. It paves the way for future generations to pump and f**k their daughters like pigs and take turns on their granddaughters like “a merry-go-round at a carnival”. If you ask your daughter’s lovers nicely, they might even add you to their WhatsApp group so you can read all about how loose she was and how much they love sluts like her. Sure isn’t it all just a bit of a laugh anyway? What’s a bit of blood and tears in the scheme of things when everyone had such a great night? And sure didn’t Harrison “throw her home” anyway?

I notice so many women communicating their relief online since the verdict was handed out. I agree that no man deserves to be accused of something he did not do. Everyone deserves a fair trial including the four defendants in this case. However, as women aren’t we slightly concerned that our daughters could leave a house bleeding and crying with undeniable injuries and the men she accused are proven to have lied in several parts of their defence….and the jury take less time deciding that they aren’t guilty than they would washing and drying one load of laundry?

I’m not arguing the verdict. They were found not guilty and that’s all there is to it. I do think women the length and breadth of the country need to take note. There are as many thugs in blazers and dubarrys as there are in Penneys lounge wear. I worked with some of the most marginalised and criminalized boys in the country and I have NEVER witnessed the vile sentiment those 4 lads conveyed in those messages. Perhaps their careers are ruined and their privacy has been invaded. Did they protect that girl’s privacy and dignity when they made disgusting comments about her in a group chat? Did they check on her when they learned she was hysterical or when they were cleaning her blood stains off their clothes and sheets? Did they consider her family’s feelings when they branded her and the other girls they met that night ‘sluts’ and ‘brassers’? I doubt it.

So take care of yourselves ladies. There are quite a few gentlemen out there who are quite willing to use and abuse your body and smear your reputation to score points with their buddies. Also, be sure they don’t get you pregnant in the process because the constitution will demean you further! Here’s hoping for a good referendum result.

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102 thoughts on “The Blog that Facebook Banned…Misogyny gone mad.

  1. What happened between said 19 year old girl and the rugby players is a sad and sorry state of affairs, that none should be proud of. Girls be safe on a night out, my advice is never go to the toilets, a mans house, a party or anywhere where you are vulnerable alone. Always make sure you have a close friend with you that you can trust,and do not drink so much alcohol or take drugs that you are not in control of your body, otherwise you leave yourself open to all sorts of abuse that you cannot prove happened or was not your own fault, have more respect for yourself.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. What a victim blaming comment. Have more respect for herself. This is a 19 year old girl barely an adult who was in a situation that you are telling her not to go to the toilet don’t go to a party in fact why not just say don’t ever leave the house because if something happens to her then it will be her fault not the poor perps fault. You have basically put all the blame on the girl and not said anything about the emotional sexual coercive perpetrators of abuse of a person they knew full well was vunrable or not at first and if drugs and drink were involved that makes it even worse as the consent is already none exsistant . If one of those boys was my son I would be ashamed and I would know that what they did to that girl was a choice. They chose to abuse the situation for their own pleasure 100% choice because hear men know they can. They might have got a not guilty but only in the misogamists mindset. This girl has been brutally emotionally sexually assaulted even if she cannot see it herself. These boys are rapists

      Liked by 11 people

      1. Sorry the law says they are not check your facts before brandishing people with such serious a term.

        And before you reply to this with some,pinko,liberal,leftist tirade, don’t try and make this out to be misogyny or sexism it’s not, I’m clearly starting the facts which you know is the word used by a judge when charging a jury with a duty.

        I cannot believe the utter contempt that people have for the ordinary people that sat on this jury and came to a concentious measured decision based upon the evidence put before them.

        This has turned into a trial by social media where bloggers throw around the latest # like it’s confetti.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Get out into the real world
        And realise that out of that male white privilaged deluded bubble you are in people are being persecuted by these old boys club attitudes And soon it will be affecting you,
        Women and the working class are waking and the likes of you need to wake up and educate yourself out of the bubble you have grown up in. It’s quite frankly a very embarrassing flimsy privilage dummy thrown out of the pram reply. Come at me from a place with reality and I might listen.
        The archaic legal system is set up for everyone but white males to fail

        Liked by 5 people

      3. Please note I shed no blame on the 19 year old, she was a very brave girl taking her case to court. I just gave the advice I give to my own daughters before they went on leisure trips or nights out to try to keep them safe. Two of my girls on different occasions were slipped a drug in their drink at the beginning of their night out leaving them incapable of looking after themselves, but because they had followed my advice both of them got home safely by the friends they were with. We live in a very predatory and violent society, I standby my advice and if one girl reads it and it saves them from being abused I will at least have done something other than criticise someone for trying to teach girls how to behave responsibly when out in the big bad 🌎

        Liked by 2 people

      4. I understand why you are saying it because that’s the advice my mum gave to myself and my sister in the early 90’s when we were starting to go out but even though it’s good advice because it most definitely protected us , still the end bit of your comment “have some self respect ” is not as I’m sure a lot of girls including many of my friends were not warned about these types of so called men by their mother’s and will be taking these men’s lies and coercion at face value lot of young girl are vunrable and It’s about time all the blame is put on the perpetrators ,the advice still has to be given but the last bit of have self respect is heart breaking because any of us women could be inadvertently end up in the situation this young girl got in women should not have to constantly live in fear The blame lays with these disgusting vile calculated abusive men who chose to abuse that’s what needs highlighting what they actually did not what they didn’t do enough of to get found not guilty in the eyes of the law. Morally what they did do was abuse and they chose to abuse that night and after the fact on the social.media platform. The law is all about protecting the white privileged male.

        Liked by 2 people

      5. She didn’t say don’t go anywhere. She said don’t go anywhere you are likely to be vulnerable alone. She is quite right.

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      6. So where might that be ? Could it be in the company of 4 respectable males . Hello answer where might that be where she should not leave the house without a trusted friend?? . Do you not think this young girl trusted these 4 ‘respectable men’
        Smh these comments are so appalling victim blaming just putting the blame on the victim and excusing the perp. You flying monkeys ate worse than the perps

        Liked by 3 people

      7. The crown court however says they are not rapists. That is the same court that protects everyones rights under all legislation. You can’t pick and choose when you believe in it and not unfortunately

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      8. Are you one of the perps mates in their elite group ? after reading what facts we have about this case it is clear as day that these perpetrators are morally guilty. Just because they got off with it does not excuse what they actually did do. Smh

        Liked by 3 people

      9. It’s not really victim blaming. Unfortunately the world is that twisted that we cannot be ourselves or go about our rightful business without a scumbag deciding to take something that isn’t theirs.

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    2. You have got to be kidding! Why the hell should we be on our guard constantly from men! It is those men who should be in their guard and know how to behave appropriately towards another human! This is just making excuses for the perpetrators! Have more respect for yourself! Go and have a word with yourself heather and a long hard look at where your views have come from! A man no doubt! It’s 2018 or had you not noticed the last 60 years passing you by! 🙄

      Liked by 2 people

    3. Wow you’re the exact problem there is with the world. You blame the victim rather than the perpetrators.

      You’re seriously advising women never to go the toilet alone? Perhaps you think women should wear a burqa and never go out without a male relatice? What a hideous misogynist you are.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Great article, I was one of hundreds who commented yesterday. It’s such a sad situation for her and her family. She was a young naive starstruck girl who was taken advantage of, abused and then laughed at. The evidence shows that It cant be classified as rape but those men should be ashamed of themselves, they went too far, they acted like animals and damaged a girl forever.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. It would be interesting to hear if the mothers of these “naughty” boys have any morals or ethics in this young girls world! Be afraid of Karma I would say to all who thought that’s all their boys were….. A bit naughty?????

      Liked by 2 people

  3. When i 1st heard they wer found innocent i didnt feel glad for them…. i felt pain n sorrow for that young girl who will be further devastated and hurt. There was a lot of evidence against those boys they harmed and hurt that girl and the y have walked free … money talks in this case and their carreers for ireland talk… but sorry fellas… i think yous r ruined anyway .. unfortunatly i dont think your rugby carreers will go any further than a satrday morning hobby i certainly cldnt look at yous on the field wothout thinking wot happened to that young girl. Mayb if yous all wernt fuelled with alcohol n drugs and her included .. it probly wldnt have happened…. but it did…. and it was wrong…we all have to suffer the consequences of our actions or…. we stay that way ..thinking it was ok…..very sad case i hope that girl gets all the help she is gonna need now for the rest of her life .

    Liked by 4 people

    1. They were found Not Guilty, not found Innocent. Big difference. We all know they did it. If the IRFU have anything to do with any of these players, I will never watch Ireland play again.

      Liked by 7 people

      1. People are NEVER EVER found “innocent” in a court of law. The two options are “guilty”or “not guilty”. You cannot prove someone is innocent; that’s impossible. Guilty or Not Guilty.

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      2. Joe you have a very lot to learn and have clearly got such an entitled attitude it’s very sad tbh you are blind

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  4. Reblogged this on Learn to Thrive after Domestic Abuse & Laugh Again and commented:
    I’m so so glad my own mother warned me about boys and men like this but she still did it in a way that victim blamed and that it was always the woman’s fault. She would tell my sister and I to not be slags and not to let these men get what they want unless we were sure they were not after one thing she made it adamantly clear that they would often lie manipulate and coerce us and that it was for us to be strong and say no even if that ment being abused for being fridgid and often verbally abused for daring to say no. My mum was born in the 50’s and this talk did protect myself and my sister to a degree in the 80’s but it also made us constantly blame ourselves if did ever get tricked and left us kicking oursekves for being taken in by the lies. But you know what it’s about time boys and men stopped lying. We girls and women should not have to constantly be trying to deciver between the bullshit that these men and boys roll off their entitled tongs it’s about time they were held accountable for coercive emotional sexual abuse of the girls and women they manipulate and groom into situations. It can’t all be put on the women. Men real men need to stand up men that love and cherish their wife’s and daughter’s to call out these wolves in sheep’s clothing to expose the real truth and entitled misogynistic crap still going on today.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Actually they weren’t found innocent they were found not guilty because there was some doubt…. BIG difference

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      2. They weren’t found “innocent”

        There has to be enough evidence “beyond reasonable doubt” in order to say guilty and put them behind bars

        And there must have been doubt given some of the inconsistencies so they have walked free.

        This certainly doesn’t mean they are innocent or that nothing happened.

        It is very clear from those texts and the apology that something happened and it was very inappropriate

        And the sweeping this under the carpet and proclaiming innocence – sends a message to all the young females out there

        A message to our sisters, cousins, daughters and grandchildren that it is ok to speak about a woman like that and treat her like an animal being led to the slaughter

        This is a sad sad time that we live in

        Liked by 1 person

      3. If “Not Guilty” to you (Anonymous) is someone that has done it but got away with it. Then what is “Guilty” ???!!!
        Guilty or not, we are all judges when it comes to someone else’s son or daughter. But when it comes to our own family we would not like the public to judge them. That’s what the courts are there for, and it does not matter what we believe or say, the jury’s verdict (who were also mother’s and father’s) is final. Also why are you staying Anonymous???

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  5. I STILL believe her.
    I have witnessed the middle class white male privilege arrogance up close. My son played rugby to the top schoolboy level until this year when he went to tertiary education. Through injury and a disillusionment with the type of characters he played with he wanted to walk away, but has played a wee bit here and there. At 19 though and me at 45 we get really pissed off that the actions of wankers like these guys tarnish the plenty of decent guys. We do exist, and I like to hope are the majority. The attitudes and actions of these guys and those like them are so alien to me they may as well be a different species.
    My wife and I have drilled into my boys over an over to be gentle, thoughtful and empathic to everyone – male and female.

    Liked by 5 people

  6. Men arnt doing so well, sadly I’m rapidly loosing respect for men but when they are represented so badly by these types of blokes and the way women are treated by men it’s extremely sad.

    Rape or no rape, the gang mentality then the WhatsApp group to slag her off is disappointing of the male species. Either way she was hurt both emotionally and physically , very sad day indeed

    Men without respect and morals for woman

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You’re loosing respect for a whole gender? If I judged every gender / race / ethnicity on the few horrible people within them using your train of thought I’d have no respect for anyone anywhere. A majority of people are good. Remember that.

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    2. Well that’s a typical reply I’ve seen from a number of women when things like this come up. Let’s just lump all men into this.
      And to add to your closing line, don’t forget it goes both ways in more ways than one.

      Men without respect and morals for woman
      Women without respect and morals for men
      Men without respect and morals for themselves
      Women without respect and morals for themselves

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  7. The said 19 year old girl the part she played fell for a sporting hero, had abit too much drink to give her courage to chat up her hero and choose bad mates who are supposed to stand by you. The butch boys and there part saw a young pretty girl who had a crush on one of them filled her with drink one takes her to a bedroom and the other que at the door ad come in and take part in a circus leaving a 19 year old girl left traumatised for life by our law system. You decide, tomorrow it come be your daughter, sister or friend. No one should be butchered like this

    Liked by 1 person

  8. What is missing in all the reports I have read is this…

    Clearly the young woman feels that she was taken advantage off. Whether it was at the time of the act or afterwards.

    The support needs to be first and foremost for this young woman who after 2 years still needs the support and care only therapy can offer.

    It’s not about these poor men who were falsely accused, and the way the inquiry and justice system have failed them. They also need therapy to work through what happened.

    My heart is heavy (as a father) for both the men involved and the young woman.

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  9. If the young lady in question had taken too much alcohol then it can definitely be considered to be rape. If she was drunk she wasn’t in a rational state of mind but being drunk is not a crime.
    Those guys are guilty of rape.
    Ireland be careful, your law seems to be a mirror image of radical Muslims law.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Good to see you’ve a full handle on the facts of the case, given that it took place in the UK – nothing to do with the Irish legal system.

      And as much as you might want to believe it, I doubt Islam had anything to do with any outcome or situation you didn’t like from this case.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. The men had even more to drink than her so that makes your comment null and void. According to your logic of someone being too drunk to consent then she took advantage of them and changed her mind the next day. The fact that most of you WANT to believe her despite all the lies she told is worrying from a social order point of view. There is a witch hunt going on against those men because they are men and some of you have decided that you are not accepting the decision of an unbiased jury of varied genders, religions and political views who were in a position to hear more evidence than we were. You are suggesting reverting back to mob rule where people were burnt at a stake because of an accusation they were not entitled to defend themselves against. I pity the men in your lives be it brothers, sons, husbands, cousins, etc These men were found Not Guilty of those crimes. Respect the law and their rights as law abiding citizens unless you can prove otherwise. Their drunken behavior and language may have been disgusting as is many groups of women on nights out, hen nights, etc but if you keep concentrating on that rather than the facts of the case as did the jury then you are victim blaming (against the men).There are plenty of real convicted rapists out there to slander and vilify.

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    3. why should ireland be careful? the trial took place in the UK. it annoys me when i hear people say things like that.if they can not get simple geography right, then what else are they wrong about?

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    4. Hi there, ignorant racist. The trial was in Northern Ireland, as in, The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Such a trial would have been handled very differently (more sensitively) in the republic.

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  10. How many times have they done this before to star struck young ladies and the young ladies were to afraid to report it? I can only hope that karma will catch up with the 4 of them in the future, one word for them VILE.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I don’t see blame and criticism in Heather’s comment. The phrase “have respect for yourself” sounds a bit strong, alright. The fact is that in an ideal world, yes, I wish girls and women were free to go out on their own and could trust that the other half of the population did their part and respected us in any situations, regardless of what we wear and how much we drink, etc. Unfortunately, this is not the reality and my reading of Heather’s comment is “if you don’t look after yourself, no one else will”.
    I was molested when I was 12 and I spent my teenage years fearing guys and men. I was very cautious around them. I kept them at a safety distance as I didn’t think I could trust them. It’s a bit sad but in a sense, this protected me because I avoided putting myself in situations where I could havr lost control of my body and someone could have taken advantage of me again. It wasn’t fun. It took me 8 years to realise that what had happened wasn’t my fault. I was only 12 and I trusted the guy who actually molested me. I was ok after turning 20 and was able to have normal relationships. But I made a promise to myself of never letting it happen again and therefore I never drink or do anything that could allow others to take advantage of me, or put myself in a vulnerable situation. This doesn’t mean nothing bad will never happen to me. I’m not immune, I’m not 100% safe. Most of the times I met nice guys. Occasionally, I met someone sleazy.
    I’m not blaming girls who get drunk, who take drugs, who go home alone at night. They have the right to be safe in every circumstance. It’s just impossible to be sure no one will try to take advantage of us. So because we can’t trust 100%, it’s up to us to help ourselves. We can only rely on ourselves really. This is how I read Heather’s comment.
    I was lucky, I was “only” molested (if I can use the word “only” for a second).
    This girl learned a lesson the hardest way possible. That’s horrible. She never thought something like this could happen to her.
    The thing is that unfortunately it can happen to anyone of us.

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  12. I have to admit at first i thought if there was another female had went into the room and the gorl did not use it as an optout of the room to get out with the girl i have to say i didnt follow the trial i dnt like news at best of times but since my first opinion i have read up on things a bit more and realised why wud this young girl putherself in a position of extreme anxiety and hardship facing millions of ppl scrutinise her every thought i hve now had a rethink and a lot of things dont add up i guess the only ppl who will truly know what happened are the ones involved but it has truly discusted me the way she has been treated im truly sorry to her for misbelieving her and hope and pray with counselling she is able to cope with the trauma shes went thro and i whole heartedly apologise publicly to her and as for the rugby players i hhope girls and fans rem this girls plight and keep tbemselves safe

    Liked by 1 person

  13. This young woman who admittedly had too much to drink, had engaged in some consensual acts of “sex”, which did not include “coitus”! What happened afterwards was absolutely rape!! And brutal at that! The judge in this case should be ashamed for finding these vile human beings not guilty. The “Old boy” mentally is not going to cut it for much longer! I stand by this young woman and applaud her bravery in coming forward. She was a victim twice, raped by arrogant, entitled a-holes, and then also by the system that is infiltrated by the same mentality.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. A judge didnt find the guilty, a judge doesnt find people guilty. A jury finds people guilty. 11 people, 3 of them woman found these men not guilty. Basic

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      1. And Jurors have never got it wrong I suppose. While she may have ‘consented’ to sex although that us questionable un her drunken state. She didn’t consent to be treated in a way that left her bleeding and bruised. Shame on any one that thinks this was ok and as others have said would you feel this way if it was your daughter sister neice cousin etc.

        Liked by 1 person

  14. The best comment here is “if you don’t look after yourself, no one else will”.
    The cliche that you have a right to be safe is only true if you bring a Garda everywhere you go.
    I’m a man able to take care of myself but if I’m in town, have a few drinks I watch my wallet n phone, I’m aware of who’s around me walking down the street. There are assholes out there ready to take advantage of the unwary
    “if you don’t look after yourself, no one else will”.

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  15. For everyone saying that they were found ‘not guilty’ rather than ‘innocent’, and that there is a big difference, I have to ask if these people understand that no one is ever found ‘innocent’ of a crime. The entire legal system works on an accused being found guilty or not guilty through the application of the ‘reasonable doubt’ model. If you have a problem with this approach then you have a problem with the entire legal system.

    This then begs the question… would you have been happy with a verdict of guilty? Would you have been happy with the system if the decision went the way that you would have preferred? If so, then I hope you can figure out the invalidity of your assertion that the system is flawed etc. because apparently it’s only flawed in getting you the outcome you wanted.

    If, however, you are indeed protesting and calling out the entire legal system, then why have you waited until the verdict? Why were all these protests not happening right from the start of the trial?

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    1. The law is a complete mess it’s an archaic system and I mean morally guilty. They need help because they are so entitled they don’t even see what they have done is wring and neither does the outraged misogynistic laws

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  16. There is no doubt in my mind that they are Rapists. My biggest concern is the missing texts/WhatsApp messages. They must of been a hell of a lot worse than the ones they read out it court if they deleted them and couldn’t be recovered. If you have nothing to hide why do this? Also if you have noting to his why tell you co conspirator no to bring their phone to the police station. They we not found innocent! They were found not guilty so was OJ Simpson! And we all no how that ended. I do adder with all the protests but I’m not sure we can change the verdicts or laws of the north. But I for one will never watch if they are allowed play again.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. There is no doubt in my mind that they are Rapists. My biggest concern is the missing texts/WhatsApp messages. They must of been a hell of a lot worse than the ones they read out it court if they deleted them and couldn’t be recovered. If you have nothing to hide why do this? Also if you have noting to his why tell you co conspirator no to bring their phone to the police station. They we not found innocent! They were found not guilty so was OJ Simpson! And we all no how that ended. I do adder with all the protests but I’m not sure we can change the verdicts or laws of the north. But I for one will never watch if they are allowed play again.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. There is no doubt in my mind that they are Rapists. My biggest concern is the missing texts/WhatsApp messages. They must of been a hell of a lot worse than the ones they read out it court if they deleted them and couldn’t be recovered. If you have nothing to hide why do this? Also if you have noting to his why tell you co conspirator no to bring their phone to the police station. They were not found innocent! They were found not guilty so was OJ Simpson! And we all no how that ended. I do agree with all the protests but I’m not sure we can change the verdicts or laws of the north. But I for one will never watch if they are allowed play again.

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  19. I guess nobody knows what went on in that house apart from that young girl and the rest of them. I was disgusted at the language they used such as “spit roasting” and “top shaggers”. That is utterly disgusting.

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  20. The charges against these young men included vaginal rape and oral rape. There existed reasonable doubt that either of these things occurred and therefore the jury had no choice than to return a verdict of “not guilty”. Whether anyone likes it or not, that was the legal duty of the jury. The shameful and demeaning comments made by these young men the following day, was not evidence enough to prove beyond reasonable doubt, that rape took place. People must learn that juries can only deliver a verdict in relation to the charges brought, and whether or not there is substantive evidence which proves beyond any reasonable doubt, that a particular crime took place.
    The whole situation is a very sorry mess for all involved, and I am not sure that any one walks away from it unscathed. The careers of those young men will forever be damaged by what has happened – perhaps more by their derogatory comments about the young woman, than any of the unproven charges against them. They will not have endeared themselves to prospective employers outside of rugby either. Although their families have appeared supportive, we don’t know how relationships have been affected away from the public eye. I’m also guessing that it doesn’t make any of them ideal husband material in the future either. Perhaps this is entirely their own fault and perhaps they deserve everything they get. The one thing they did not deserve however, was to go to jail and be placed on the sex offenders register for life, if there was any doubt over the fact that they actually committed vaginal or oral rape.
    The young lady in question however must also stand up and accept some responsibility for the events of that night. Now let me be absolutely and completely clear, that no young woman ever deserves to be raped – under no circumstances. However, young women must learn to make good decisions which as far as possible, enable them to stay safe from harm. One might argue that a young woman should be allowed to drink without facing the risk of rape. Well yes, that’s fine. However we could argue that young men should be allowed to drink without fearing the accusation of rape. When alcohol is consumed, the issue of consent becomes confused and unclear and can often result in situations that might otherwise not arise. We have a duty to educate our young people how to drink safely, and move away from the current culture that a good night is only a good night if you are so drunk, you can’t remember what has happened.
    It would have been much better for the young lady in this case if she had never gone back to that house that night. The responsibility does not lie with her friends who decided not to go. She chose to go and she chose to get into a taxi with people she did not know and go to a stranger’s house. That does not mean that she deserves any of what she alleges happened to her, but it does show the danger of making bad decisions.
    Every young person in that house made bad decisions in that house that night and it is not entirely clear to those of us who weren’t there, exactly what those decisions were. However, if I was mother to any of those young men, I would be horrified at his behaviour – consensual or otherwise.

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    1. They qued at the door as if they were waiting for an ice cream, how did they know she was going to let them touch her, and one of them came into the room naked, they attacked her like a pack of wolves, had none of them any mentality to think his is wrong, you would have to question is there other young girls this has happened to, and the fact they ripped her inside. Any decent young man would not have entered the room never mind take part. And as far as weather this took place in Northern Ireland uk, republic or Ireland no human being should be treated like this. ROI can’t talk about the justice system and how women are treated what about their abortion law

      Liked by 1 person

  21. I disagree with many of these statements. Women have nothing to do with being raped. She will need a lot of support to recover. She will have to explore and let go of the blame-the-survivor beliefs that most people have internalized. She will have a long and difficult recovery and will do well if kind, compassionate people are here support and companions.

    Men rape. Period. Rape is entirely their responsibility. These men apparently grew up in a pro-rape culture. They did not have the judgment to understand that action pro-rape beliefs are criminal acts and assaults on dignity and worth. Their beliefs and actions are public. They can seek help, understand what they did, admit what they did, apologise, make amends, and forgive themselves. These actions, however horrific, do not have to keep them from having good lives in the future.It’s up to them to deal with their issues and change beliefs and not ever hurt anyone again,

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Please don’t in anyway take this as some kind of justification for the horrific behaviour but I do believe you’re misunderstood the term “spit-roast”

    Like

    1. Firstly learn English and punctuation secondly how exactly have we mis enterpated spit roast ??? I had to ask a friend what this meant during the week

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  23. I was 21 I was wearing jeans and a jumper not dressed like a slut like these “gents” say -I wasn’t drunk but I had a few .. I went back to their place with a friend so not leaving each other. I kissed him and said that was enough he didn’t agree I said no and to stop and he said you look like you’re not enjoying this. I remember what I focused on while it happened. I stood outside the police station for half an hour thinking my character will be questioned I’ll have to have an enternal exam and my family and friends will know what happened I’ll have to go to court like this girl. So I decided to go home and cry in the shower.i applaud this girls bravery

    Liked by 2 people

  24. My belief in the world – the fact that good people exist & if bad, karma and the legal system will sort out a respectable and viable penance.

    Following the whatsapp messages being made public & knowing that this girl left that house bloodstained from aggressive / repeated sexual encounters which were villified by these monsters, makes me feel nothing but absolute Disgust for Those men AND their families who are standing behind them having listened to their antics AND the legal system AND their solicitors who repeatedly made this female Victim feel even more worthless in Court. Is this the world we live in??? Is this what we now have to endure? No means No. Treating a person with this disrespect is absolutely horrifying!!!
    Yet…. The blame game continues by some of these 4 men(?) when they are now allowed to sue anyone in social media circles who speak their minds about their actions!! ‘Two-tier system’ anyone?
    1 question – why shouldnt this same girl sue THEM for the public now knowing exactly what whatsapp content was subscribed to by them & their (‘respectable??’) Friends. Disgust for these Rugby Players & all other men who believe that their actions were honourable and respectable…..

    Liked by 1 person

  25. This article is loaded with absolute contempt for men as a race. Why is it so unbelievable for the haters to accept that women can and do willingly put themselves in these situations. People have threesoms and injoy it. This girl decided she didn’t AFTER it was all over. Also the “facts” stated are exaggerated to suit the writers own still guilty agenda. How does she know she bleed for hours after! And to patronisingly refer to them as top shaggers! I’m sick of hearing that people can’t accept that they were found not guilty after weeks of evidence was examined by all those involved. It just doesn’t suit some people that they are innocent and that is the real crime here. Their reputations are tarnished forever.

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    1. The evidence presented in court included testimony from the doctor who said she was still bleeding on arrival at the clinic. I know this can’t be ruled out as menstrual bleeding but I think it’s fair to say we ladies don’t wear white skinny jeans on our periods. We save the heavy duty black numbers for those nights or in winter choose skirts and 500000 denier black tights. I never suggested that they were guilty in the article – I said no one will ever know for sure what happened. I have no contempt for men. I have worked mainly with males throughout my career and have loved every minute. Many of my heroes are male. My father is a gent. My brother and my husband are my best friends. I am a big fan of men. I sincerely apologise if you took the article as a slight against all men. My point was more that we often expect men to be gentlemen and not to conduct these kinds of conversations based on their class and dress whereas (in my own personal experience) this can lead to big errors in judgement, hurt and shame. Although i respect that you can interpret the article as you choose and are of course entitled to form your own opinion on it.

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    2. Who gives a shit about their reputations if you don’t conduct yourself like a gentleman, if a woman leaves your house covered in blood and in distress don’t expect applause. If we really wanted justice the defendant would have her own legal counsel as she is put on trial in everything but name. Let them each undergo eight days of cross examination see how they hold up when the screws are being turned on them And if you want evidence that not guilty is meaningless ponder this case http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/13599092.Rape_case_woman_warned_minister_Alexander_Pacteau_would_kill/

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  26. an how was spit roast ment to be taken they done it they rapped the girl an smiked at the thought off what they done but Karma will come back on them an the sooner the better

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  27. sending love to this young girl and her family the only mistake she made was one many off us have we went to a party im my day you went to a party got drunk came home with are shoes below are arms a sore head after a fun night an the names they called the girls got called they wanna wash there mouths out with a big bar off soap and the girls that they were with are just as bad they arent friends when the Lads fall out with them i wud love to hear the stories

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  28. They are guilty,we all know it.Hopefully they will receive some punishment by never getting to play rugby again.This not guilty verdict will put victims of reporting rape,who could blame them!

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  29. I don’t dispute the facts of the guys abhorrent dialog following the event.
    But your article is somewhat misrepresenting “facts”
    It is not a fact that she had “ ..bruises and lacerations as a result of rigorous sex”
    You may have the opinion they were a result of it, but it’s not a fact.
    You’ve stated she left the house with these injuries. This was not proven. She had them when she presented herself the next day.

    The guys were in court for rape charges. Not being assholes charges.

    I don’t think they’re innocent. Nor do I think they’re guilty. I simply don’t know as I wasn’t there.
    The girls case was heard which is actually an achievement in itself.

    To complain about the sex of the jury is ridiculous. Men don’t condone rape any more than women.

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  30. These men were not found guilty of rape so they are not guilty. They are guilty of being assholes but that is not a crime in Northern Ireland or most other countries.
    With to regards to various groups of men talking in a derogatory manner about women, you totally missing the point, a number of men do but only to other men. It was a private whatsapp group, not a public forum. If you like, they are talking behind people’s backs, no more so that plenty of people will talk in a derogatory manner about people to others but not to their face. Neither are right but don’t try and paint this as unique to a particular subset of males in society.
    With regard to your ‘facts’, I understand there was no evidence of blood on her white pants, only evidence of fake tan stains. I believe DNA evidence did not align with your ‘facts’ either. It came down to her word against theirs. And as both parties had inconsistencies in their evidence it was hard to believe who was telling the truth. The trial judge did direct the jury that inconsistencies does not mean lying, everyone involved had a lot of alcohol and possibility there recollections of the night were clouded.
    A lady from an Irish rape crisis center made an excellent point that it possible to believe both parties. The young woman involves is convinced that any sexual activity was non-consensual and the two men accused of rape are convinced that any sexual activity was consensual, so the main issue is that there are many perceptions of what is consensual activity. The young woman’s perception, the two men’s perception, the individual members of the jury’s perceptions and what is the definition in the law of Northern Ireland.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. …..823 alleged rapes reported in Northern Ireland in 1 year with just 15 people convicted…..

    Maybe that statistic is the reason some people find it difficult to accept the verdict

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  32. Something I’m not sure I understand well, we all know who the four boys are, their names, their photos in and out of the court, what they were wearing, what they do, where they live … what’s the girl’s name?

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  33. I find the whole thing disgsuting. The amount of people acting like they know EXACTLY what happened is insane.
    No one outside the people in the room knows what happens. Despite the huge social media presents of bloody experts and the #ibelieveher gang.

    All I know is this girl went to a house party and at some point ended in a room with more than one guy. A girl walked in at one point and she herself stated that it was a theresome of willing participants and not rape. Later I believe she left the place upset, bleeding. In the texts shown they talked like typical fucknuts I’v’e known in my life, yes it’s digusting however that doesn’t make them guilty of rape. If this girl allowed a number of men into a room with her and do whatever to her then I am not surprised they spoke about her like that. Im not saying its ok but given the nature of guys club etc …

    The stance I see many people saying is because of this women are afraid to speak up now and guys can get away with rape pretty much. Again assuming this is the stance women will take.. and if its not.. we’ll just spam social media and everything else until they do feel that way.
    For most normal people who want to ask questions.. again are met with a barrage of – you condone rape, boys club, your the reason this happens, oh you’re victim blaming etc etc I see so many on her side just bulldozing their idea and not willing to even look at any other possibility.
    That to me is the height of ignorance, yes there is a horrible chance she was raped or asked them to stop during it when didn’t want to continue. If that was what happened then they should be hung plain and simple.There is also a chance that it involved all willing participants and afterwards she got embarrased and thought what will people think of her because those fuck heads will probably tell everyone so she called rape to try save face. Millions of possible things that could have happened but people don’t want to even make an attempt at looking outside the cold hard fact that they want to believe. Again I am looking at it from both sides, but the bleeding/bruising yes.. could have been from rape or rough sex.. people into odd shit these days.. BOTH SIDES!
    There are so many cases of rape allegations against men that ruin lives but that should be ignored. It’s one of the reasons I will ask questions before I jump on a bandwagon of any kind. However given the climate these days .. if you do want to ask a question then you risk a barrage of abuse and hate and people fucking with your lively hood in the process – one of the reasons I have not posted about this on social media unlike so many others & why I am anonymous here.

    At the end of it all I don’t know what happened. The guys came across the typical moronic idiots who will talk about the girls they fucked in digusting terminology.. record sex with them and show it to others etc. Total dirtbags but it’s not enough for me to say I believe her over them. I know a girl walked in and it looked fine for the min she saw them.. however what happened after is anyones guess.

    I don’t know what happened.. and either do you.

    Like

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